Thursday, July 1, 2010
In a dark mourning place. Where a great church once stood. Where people from all over the world came to be blessed by its holiness. All that’s left is ashes and one little piece of wall where a stained glass window would have been. The trees twisting their arms as if tortured for years. Its been years since any one came here. Its been years since I saw another human being. As I walked under the black fog that covered the sky as a black blanket. I felt bones crush under my feet. I could only see 10 feet out in front of me. I was hungry and thirsty. Maybe this church piece had a cellar where some food and water might have made it trough Day 12. Day 12 was the worlds worst time in the history of all mankind. One morning in December people were waking up to shovel their drive ways or to go to work or to go shopping for the holidays. When all of the sudden the electronics all over the world just stopped working. Subways, planes, even nuclear weapons stopped working. What a Christmas that was. Back then my name was Charley and I had the worlds most beautiful woman at my side who I called my wife. I had a little boy who was only 5 years old. I worked for the government back then. Ha! Its hard to remember there even was a government. So when the missels were in orbit I took my wife and son to a special bunker. We waited for 3 months in there but my wife and son were getting sick from the radiation. Not to long after that they died. Now I am no more Charley he died when my wife and son died I am now X. It hurts thinking about those days when everything was so good. So as I finally made it to the little piece of the wall where the church once stood I started looking around for a cellar door or something. But I could see anything but ash and rubble. Then I walked into the middle of the ruins and I heard a squeak so I got on my knees and started to feel for a latch or something but all I felt was ash. Then I felt something not ash some type of metal I grabbed it and pulled up it took all my strength I had but it opened up. I jumped down and there was a torch lit. lit. That was weird and for a second there I swear I could hear some one but I didn’t hear anything so I grabbed the torch and started walking. I felt delusional and weak. I could feel my heart start to slow down and then I saw a door. I opened it and I saw a box maybe it had food I thought to myself. So I went and opened it up. Nothing but ash like most of the other places I looked. I got lucky a lot of the time I found water here and there and some food in other places. And then I fell to my knees cried using my last strength to do so I laid there and waited. Waited for my heart to slowly stop and then I saw my wife and son. And everything was good again. I was Charley again.
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1 comment:
I can see an amazing imagination at work here, but this mind is also illiterate. Very poor use of conjunctions, and punctuation is often nonexistent. The story has a great ending already. The only thing you really need to worry about is your grammar. Work on your word choice, punctuation, conjunctions, run-on sentences, incomplete sentences, and things like that, and you should be good to go.
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